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Holly: Practically Perfect Baby

Holly: Practically Perfect Baby

We all think that our children are perfect. From the day that they are born we think that they are the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, perfect child on this earth. It is because of this that we are so unwilling to see anything wrong with our children.

I have always thought that my daughter looks perfect.   When she had a couple of small red bumps on her head, I thought they were a result of the vacuum used during birth, but they kept growing and growing in size and in height. It turns out she has a strawberry hemangioma. It is a build up of blood vessels and is considered a birthmark.  It occurs more often in Caucasians and much more often in girls.  The picture on this blog is put there so that you can see what it looks like on Brett’s head.

Anyhow, because it is on the top of Brett’s head and because she has never had much hair (and what hair she has is strawberry blonde) it is very apparent and therefore, very commented on.  People say things like, “oh no, did she get a bonk on her head?” and many variations of that. Once in a Costco, a man said, “wow, look at the ouchie on her head!” and I said to him, “oh, it’s not an ouchie, it’s a birth mark.” At which point he says, “well it looks like it really hurts!.” To which I replied, “Well it doesn’t” and I just walked away. Why do people feel the need to make these comments?

That has been my ongoing annoyance with random strangers and Brett’s birthmark.  However, there has been something a little less obvious to people that I have also tried to ignore. My daughter’s feet turn in a bit. In fact, her right foot turns in quite a bit. I took her to an orthopedic surgeon and he told me to buy some special shoes called Straight Last. I basically ignored the recommendation. Well, not completely. I took her to the shoe store and the woman working there said that she didn’t really think Brett’s feet were too bad and that I should try putting shoes on the opposite feet and that would work out the problem. Being that I was in denial I took her advice.

Now, since Brett is walking steadily it became clear that her right foot really is turned in, so I swallowed my pride and bought the special shoes. I was so happy to see that they don’t look ‘special’ at all.  We haven’t received them yet but I feel good that I bought them and am a bit ashamed of myself for waiting this long.

I realize that I don’t want to look for the flaws in my daughter but that I need to be honest with myself and do what is best for her, even if there is something that is less than perfect about her.

Strawberry Hemangioma Article

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  1. Teresa Milgram says:

    Holly – Thanks for sharing your story. I truly agree that we do all believe our child/ren are perfect. How can we not, right? They are so adorable, lovable, and not to mention those piercing, beautiful, innocent puppy-dog eyes! My husband says it is the “baby scam.” It’s Mother Nature’s way of getting us, the parents, to willingly (with joy and an open heart)want to change poopie diapers, clean up throw-up at 3:00am, and chasing them around for hours all the while loving every minute!
    It is extremely hard to come to terms with imperfections they may have. Not my child, right? Tristan is not perfect, but I am learning just as you are with Brett, to come to terms with his imperfections so I can help him.
    Your strength is refreshing, and I hope every parent has the opportunity to read it so they can also feel that it IS OK to have a child with imperfections, so they CAN HELP before it is harmful. (This is a great article for Health Care – Preventative Care Advocates;-) Thanks again for sharing!

  2. cjncollins says:

    Thank you for posting Holly. Oliver has several large red birth marks on his chest and neck and people have often commented on them. It is hard to imagine how some people think when they say things that are potentially hurtful on the subject. But then when we were visiting some friends parents they told me that in Indian culture birth marks are a sign of luck. Where one person sees a flaw, another sees beauty – and its the same when we relate to our children. In our eyes and in the the eyes of those others who love them they will always be beautiful no matter what they look like or have to deal with and we accept their imperfections with love.

  3. MomofOne says:

    My baby has a hemangioma as well and I hate when people point it out- like I don’t know it’s there!!!

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