Sharing Responsibilities- Our Solution
My husband and I have always been really good at working as a team. When we have gone through rough patches we remind each other that we are, in fact, a team and that we are there for each other to work through whatever the issue is.
When we first moved in together and then got married we would have the normal arguments about who would do what around the house. We decided early on that it would be best for our relationship to hire a cleaning service to come to our house every couple weeks to do the deep cleaning that we didn’t want to do (floors, toilets, etc). After five years we still do this. We keep the house clean, floors swept, etc but then the cleaning people come in to do the dirty work. It has worked out great for us. Others: laundry is my thing, trash is his, dishes we split. We honestly never argue about housework anymore.
Now, on to other things that you have to deal with as new parents.
My husband is pretty independent and needs his guy time. Whether this is golfing, football games or weekends away with his buddies he has always needed these things and I’ve never really complained about them. I also need my girls time and, if you’ve read my previous blogs, you know that I go off on girls weekends away as well. I wasn’t really sure how this was going to work when our baby came.
When Brett was born my husband really stepped up and was more involved than I ever imagined he would be. He has been an amazing father and very supportive husband. And, through it all, he still does his golfing, football games, guys trips, etc. I started to feel resentful of what he was doing and we were arguing a lot. We needed a solution to this. I wanted him to get up with our daughter on the weekends so I could sleep in but he didn’t think it was fair because he worked all week and wanted to sleep in as well.
I suggested a solution about two months ago that is working well for us. On Saturdays I get ‘my time’ until 12:00noon and on Sundays he gets ‘his time’ until 12:00noon. We can do whatever we want during this time. He often gets up to go golfing and I either sleep in or watch my tv shows or go get a pedicure, etc.
This is working for us. Though, I must admit that I rarely go out and do anything during ‘my time.’ I would rather be home and spend time as a family. However, I never say anything to my husband about him taking ‘his time’ because I think it is important for him to have it and it actually makes him a better dad and husband.